One thing that has been difficult for me is making friends with other moms. A mom with children that are not on the spectrum can be sympathetic. She can listen and offer advice. The problem that occurs with this is that she can not truly understand what you are going through. Her advice isn't coming from a place of true understanding of your situation.
I met another mom of an autistic child a few years ago. We hit it off immediately. She has a daughter that is almost non-verbal. She is about the same age as my daughter and younger than my son. The things that this mom is going through now are things that I have already dealt with in my son's younger years.
We lost touch with each other since summer. Our schedules are so busy, and it has been hard to keep the lines of communication open. I have talked with her every night over the last few days. She has been having difficulties with the public school system, therapists and is starting new services with her daughter.
She was feeling overwhelmed and needed to talk with someone that understood and could help her sort through everything. This is the great thing about our friendship. No matter how long it has been since we last talked, we can pick right up as if no time has gone by. We also know that either one can call the other for support.
It is very important to me to have her as a friends. She has been a great sounding board for me and I hope I have been the same for her. We accept each other and our children in a way that only two moms raising autistic children can. We both have NT children and we get them all together to play. That is, when our schedules allowed. We don't have to explain behaviors, and our NT children understand and interact with our autistic children.
The looks we share are of understanding and pride. Understanding of what each child is doing and pride of their accomplishments. We can relax in each other's company, and that is wonderful. I value this friendship and am grateful that I have her in my life.
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3 comments:
That is so wonderful that you have found a friend like that. I have one friend that I can talk to that understands and the funny thing is that we became friends about a year before her Autistic child was born and about 4 years before my 3rd child was born (the one with ASD). My only wish is that we lived closer to eachother now.
I agree, having parents with children having the same needs is a God send. I agree that moms without can't really understand or give good advice.
I haven't met anyone like that & go it alone. Usually when I meet an autism mom in person, at least in the past when I did occasionally, they schooled, & didn't understand hs'ing; most seemed downright intolerant of it... so it wouldn't work. I'm always willing to help anyone with anything I can offer.
You are very blessed to have a good friend!
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