Churches so often ask how they can “minister to” children with autism and their families. I prefer to use the term “minister alongside,” because children with autism bring so many gifts to their church communities: they model unconditional love, teach us how to live in the moment; bring joy, blessing and fulfillment to those who accept them as they are; make us realize how much we take for granted; give us new pride in small accomplishments; and lead us to a deeper relationship with God. Here are some ideas on ways churches can minister alongside families of children with autism:
1. Acknowledge
Acknowledge the family’s unique set of circumstances. Ask to hear their story. Ask Mom and Dad to tell you about their child with autism – his abilities, his disability, what she likes to do, what she’s afraid of. Ask how the siblings are doing. Expect to hear about, and listen to, the family’s struggles as well as joys.
2. Include
Train volunteers to buddy up with children with autism so they may participate successfully in Sunday school. For resources, check out www.ccfh.org Ask about the interests and passions of each family member. Is it music? Small group? Youth group? Mission work? Help them plug in to appropriate ministry areas.
Consider training volunteers to offer respite care so Mom and Dad can spend time together. Offer counseling, and help in navigating the disability system.
3. Accept
Acceptance entails celebrating children with autism for their unique gifts and empowering them to use those gifts. One way to do this is by teaching children in the church that we are all more alike than we are different, and that disabilities are nothing to be afraid of. A great curriculum is available at www.everybodycounts.net Training Sunday school teachers in inclusion is another way of celebrating differences. Setting up consistent behavior plans, learning how to use a multi-sensory teaching approach, and working closely with parents are keys to making kids feel accepted. Barbara Newman’s book, Autism and Your Church, is a great resource (www.friendship.org).
One important pathway to acceptance is to make sure Mom and Dad can recharge their spiritual batteries in worship each week. One way to do this, along with using the buddy system and trained Sunday school teachers, is to assist in putting together a brochure that introduces their child – strengths, needs, likes, dislikes, behavioral plan, etc. – to each year’s new teacher.
Finally, all children flourish when asked to lend a hand and all parents thrive on knowing their children’s gifts are appreciated. All children, regardless of ability level, can contribute. Perhaps they can pass out bulletins, be responsible for getting the pastor a drink of water, or help out as greeters.
4. Embrace
Physical hugs are great, but another way of embracing families that live with disability is to offer the gift of prayer. Anointing with oil, laying on of hands, prayers lifted up by the prayer ministry, short prayers over the phone, e-mails and notes letting the family know you are praying for them – these acts of prayer are a visible sign of caring, compassion, and faith in a God who walks alongside us, even in the storms of life.
-written by Kathleen Deyer Bolduc
Kathleen Deyer Bolduc is the author of Autism and Alleluias (Judson Press, 2010) His Name is Joel: Searching for God in a Son’s Disability, and A Place Called Acceptance: Ministry with Families of Children with Disabilities (Bridge Resources, 1999 and 2001). Her books and her blog, as well as contact information for speaking events, are available at www.kathleenbolduc.com
1. Acknowledge
Acknowledge the family’s unique set of circumstances. Ask to hear their story. Ask Mom and Dad to tell you about their child with autism – his abilities, his disability, what she likes to do, what she’s afraid of. Ask how the siblings are doing. Expect to hear about, and listen to, the family’s struggles as well as joys.
2. Include
Train volunteers to buddy up with children with autism so they may participate successfully in Sunday school. For resources, check out www.ccfh.org Ask about the interests and passions of each family member. Is it music? Small group? Youth group? Mission work? Help them plug in to appropriate ministry areas.
Consider training volunteers to offer respite care so Mom and Dad can spend time together. Offer counseling, and help in navigating the disability system.
3. Accept
Acceptance entails celebrating children with autism for their unique gifts and empowering them to use those gifts. One way to do this is by teaching children in the church that we are all more alike than we are different, and that disabilities are nothing to be afraid of. A great curriculum is available at www.everybodycounts.net Training Sunday school teachers in inclusion is another way of celebrating differences. Setting up consistent behavior plans, learning how to use a multi-sensory teaching approach, and working closely with parents are keys to making kids feel accepted. Barbara Newman’s book, Autism and Your Church, is a great resource (www.friendship.org).
One important pathway to acceptance is to make sure Mom and Dad can recharge their spiritual batteries in worship each week. One way to do this, along with using the buddy system and trained Sunday school teachers, is to assist in putting together a brochure that introduces their child – strengths, needs, likes, dislikes, behavioral plan, etc. – to each year’s new teacher.
Finally, all children flourish when asked to lend a hand and all parents thrive on knowing their children’s gifts are appreciated. All children, regardless of ability level, can contribute. Perhaps they can pass out bulletins, be responsible for getting the pastor a drink of water, or help out as greeters.
4. Embrace
Physical hugs are great, but another way of embracing families that live with disability is to offer the gift of prayer. Anointing with oil, laying on of hands, prayers lifted up by the prayer ministry, short prayers over the phone, e-mails and notes letting the family know you are praying for them – these acts of prayer are a visible sign of caring, compassion, and faith in a God who walks alongside us, even in the storms of life.
-written by Kathleen Deyer Bolduc
Kathleen Deyer Bolduc is the author of Autism and Alleluias (Judson Press, 2010) His Name is Joel: Searching for God in a Son’s Disability, and A Place Called Acceptance: Ministry with Families of Children with Disabilities (Bridge Resources, 1999 and 2001). Her books and her blog, as well as contact information for speaking events, are available at www.kathleenbolduc.com
