Man Uses Facebook To Share Nude Photos With Church Members

 

This is horrible. In Lexington, NC, a former member of Sonlight Baptist Church in Lexington sent out friend requests to church to dozens of church members. Some of these members were children. The pictures and videos on this man's Facebook page were nudes and some showed his genitals.

When the church realized what was going on, they called all the members of the church. The Assistant Pastor Scott Steed declined to name the church member that sent out the friend requests. Police officials say that no charges can be filed unless children that saw the pictures step forward. The page has since been taken down.

This reiterates the importance of monitoring your child's computer usage. It's also extremely important to monitor the Facebook activity of your child. Even if the person you are accepting as a friend on Facebook is someone you are acquainted with, your child may not be safe accepting him or her as a friend.

How Churches Can Minister to Autism Families

Churches so often ask how they can “minister to” children with autism and their families. I prefer to use the term “minister alongside,” because children with autism bring so many gifts to their church communities: they model unconditional love, teach us how to live in the moment; bring joy, blessing and fulfillment to those who accept them as they are; make us realize how much we take for granted; give us new pride in small accomplishments; and lead us to a deeper relationship with God. Here are some ideas on ways churches can minister alongside families of children with autism:

1. Acknowledge
Acknowledge the family’s unique set of circumstances. Ask to hear their story. Ask Mom and Dad to tell you about their child with autism – his abilities, his disability, what she likes to do, what she’s afraid of. Ask how the siblings are doing. Expect to hear about, and listen to, the family’s struggles as well as joys.

2. Include
Train volunteers to buddy up with children with autism so they may participate successfully in Sunday school. For resources, check out www.ccfh.org Ask about the interests and passions of each family member. Is it music? Small group? Youth group? Mission work? Help them plug in to appropriate ministry areas.
Consider training volunteers to offer respite care so Mom and Dad can spend time together. Offer counseling, and help in navigating the disability system.

3. Accept
Acceptance entails celebrating children with autism for their unique gifts and empowering them to use those gifts. One way to do this is by teaching children in the church that we are all more alike than we are different, and that disabilities are nothing to be afraid of. A great curriculum is available at www.everybodycounts.net Training Sunday school teachers in inclusion is another way of celebrating differences. Setting up consistent behavior plans, learning how to use a multi-sensory teaching approach, and working closely with parents are keys to making kids feel accepted. Barbara Newman’s book, Autism and Your Church, is a great resource (www.friendship.org).

One important pathway to acceptance is to make sure Mom and Dad can recharge their spiritual batteries in worship each week. One way to do this, along with using the buddy system and trained Sunday school teachers, is to assist in putting together a brochure that introduces their child – strengths, needs, likes, dislikes, behavioral plan, etc. – to each year’s new teacher.

Finally, all children flourish when asked to lend a hand and all parents thrive on knowing their children’s gifts are appreciated. All children, regardless of ability level, can contribute. Perhaps they can pass out bulletins, be responsible for getting the pastor a drink of water, or help out as greeters.

4. Embrace
Physical hugs are great, but another way of embracing families that live with disability is to offer the gift of prayer. Anointing with oil, laying on of hands, prayers lifted up by the prayer ministry, short prayers over the phone, e-mails and notes letting the family know you are praying for them – these acts of prayer are a visible sign of caring, compassion, and faith in a God who walks alongside us, even in the storms of life.

-written by Kathleen Deyer Bolduc
Kathleen Deyer Bolduc is the author of Autism and Alleluias (Judson Press, 2010) His Name is Joel: Searching for God in a Son’s Disability, and A Place Called Acceptance: Ministry with Families of Children with Disabilities (Bridge Resources, 1999 and 2001). Her books and her blog, as well as contact information for speaking events, are available at www.kathleenbolduc.com

Making Sense of Autism: Myths and Truths for the Church

April is National Autism Awareness Month. According to the latest findings of the Centers for Disease Control, one in every 91 children in the U.S. will have some form of autism. Maybe you know of families affected by autism, whose lives are completely overwhelmed by the challenges. If they turned to your church, would they find help and support? Or, would they be met with the typical false assumptions and myths that can accompany a diagnosis of autism? Myths such as “all children with autism have mental retardation and behave the same,” or autism “is actually caused by poor parenting.” Nothing could be further from the truth.

The truth is we don’t yet know the cause or cure for autism, but we know that autism separates families from the church. Autism creates fears that the church can ease. Parents feel isolated because their families can’t always do things together like other families. These parents walk through our church doors every week assuming that we don’t understand their needs . . . and most of the time, they’re right! I have seen how our ignorance hurts families emotionally and spiritually. However, I’ve also seen that when we act with the mind of Christ, Christians have a tremendous opportunity to grow alongside these families. At whatever age their child is diagnosed with autism, the church’s response should be: “We don’t care what your child’s disability is; there’s a place for you here.” This goes beyond just providing childcare during worship, to facilitating full-participation for all families.

If your church doesn’t have a special needs ministry, Joni and Friends has a wonderful resource filled with advice, answers and articles – Special Needs Smart Pages. (www.joniandfriends.org)

A special needs ministry can touch the whole congregation. Thanks to the special needs ministry at his church, Dr. Scott Daniels understands the isolation and stress autism puts on marriages. “As our church truly becomes a genuine community, we’re capable of bringing encouragement and healing. But I wonder what the prospects are for couples who don’t have that unique community,” says Dr. Daniels. “As we see God’s well-intentioned plans for these children, it is transformational to us. We have become a better people because we have this kind of ministry—living, laughing, and struggling together to become the Body of Christ.”

National Autism Awareness Month in April is a great time to educate your church about autism. Joni and Friends has created an excellent new resource that can help. Making Sense of Autism is a two-part TV episode by Joni and Friends that takes you into the lives of families affected by autism to witness their joy and frustrations. It includes videos and study guides that can be taught as a half-day seminar or a four-week series. Hosted by Joni Eareckson Tada, it features advice from parents, pastors, experts and teachers who are addressing the issues of autism as Christ’s followers. To learn more visit www.joniandfriendstv.org.
 
You may be surprised to discover that families affected by autism can actually strengthen your faith community in ways you never anticipated. This is one of the mysteries of faith, that God uses those we perceive as weak and less wise to stretch us, mature us and teach us His ways.

- Written By Pat Verbal
Pat Verbal is the Manager of Curriculum Development at the Joni and Friends Christian Institute on Disability. Her email address is pverbal@joniandfriends.org.