How to Talk to an Autistic Child about Death

As a guest blogger, I have been popping in from time to time to try to learn about autism and to help those who may be too scared to ask their own questions. Today the topic is death. I have several questions, and I'm hoping some autistic moms will help me learn the answers.

First, let me explain, my own mother has been diagnosed with malignant melonoma cancer. She's been given six months, per doctor diagnoses, as an estimate of how long she may live IF she takes chemo and radiation to help slow the cancer growth.

So, when I popped in today I noticed I had not been active lately on Tammy's blog. Because of my mother's condition, it was easy to come up with a topic.

Do autistic children have a different understanding of death? Is there a special way to talk to an autistic child about death? Does the child have different reactions after losing a loved one? How do you help your autistic child cope with the death of a loved one, or even of a pet?

Thanks to anyone for your willingness to help me understand autism and those it affects.

Birthday at the Beach This Weekend

This will be a busy weekend. Tomorrow is my son’s birthday. My daughter has to go to school for half a day in order to make up a snow day. I asked my son what he wanted for his birthday, and his answer was the beach.

He’s a lucky boy, because it is supposed to be about 61 degrees at the beach on Sunday. The water will be too cold, but the kids can have fun playing on the sand, chasing the birds, and visiting the aquarium. The aquarium used to be a big hit with my kids, but now they seem to be getting bored with it. This time around, I think we will need to find something new to do at the beach to capture my kids attention.

The problem is that it is off season. Most of the fun, family activity places are not open this time of the year. We will play it by ear. Sometimes, the most fun you can have is by being spontaneous. It can be hard with an autistic child to change your plans or make plans at the spur of the moment. Luckily for me, my son handles changes pretty good.

I am doing better this week. The swelling has gone down a lot. It is now just around the main surgical area, instead of the whole right side of my face. The bruises are barely noticeable. I still have pain, but it is manageable. I have to be careful around the house. I have been trying to get myself into doing everything that needs to be done around my home. Big mistake. Yesterday was my first day of really getting back into the swing of things. Today, I am miserable.

Two of my blog friends, Blessed2BaMommy and GrammyMouse, have suggested using homeopathic oils. I need to look into that. I haven’t had time to do so, yet. Next month is Autism Awareness Month. I will be posting autism only articles for the whole month of April. I have the giveaways that are currently going on now and one more to come for this month. I have a couple of reviews to get posted for the month of March. That will bring us to April and there will be no reviews or giveaways scheduled for April.

I hope everyone has a great weekend.

Cancer Cells Removed and Plastic Surgery

It's referred to as MOHS surgery. The procedure is done in-office. You are given a couple of shots to numb the area. The doctor scoops or scrapes a thin layer of skin. This is taken back and checked. If they got all the cancer cells, you are free to go. If not, you have to sit through the procedure again. And again. And again, until all the cancer cells are removed.

I had this done yesterday. The first time, the needles hurt. There were two of them. My doctor did her thing and I was left to wait 30 minutes for the results. The door would open and I was told they didn't get them all. The first couple of times, no problem. The fourth and fifth, I was tired, hungry, frustrated, and scared. The sixth time the door open, it was finally over.

That part of it was. Next, I had to hurry to the plastic surgeon's office. I thought that it would be a quick and easy visit. That's what I was told. Wrong. There was a big hole on my nose that needes to be fixed, and it woudn't be a simple procedure. When he told me what he had to do, I cried, a little.

The doctor took two hours working on me. When it was over, he had a mirror brought over for me to look at. I cried. I tried not to, but it was such a shock. I looked like the bride of Frakenstein.

The ride home was miserable. The pain medicine was upsetting my stomach. When I finally got home at 6:30PM (so much for the couple hours, tops, that I was told), I tried to eat. It came right up. I was in a lot of pain, but couldn't take anymore pain medicine. I had an awful night. I got up a few times to apply an ice pack to the side of my face. I've been in a lot of pain today, but did manage to take one pain medicine. My face is swolen. The bruising hasn't showed up yet, but I was told to expect it to be bad.

In case you think I am exagerating, that is me in the picture.

Raising an Autistic Child and Taking Care of Yourself

It can be difficult to take care of yourself when raising an autistic child. I spend most of my time and energy on both of my kids. With my son, I am also taking him to appointments several times a week. I am homeschooling him, too.

For the last couple of years, I have been putting off going to the doctor to have a skin abnormality checked out. I would tell myself that it isn't important. My mother and sister would insist that I needed to get it checked out, and I would dismiss their concerns.

The bottom line was that I didn't have the money or time to have it checked. Actually, that's not quite true. I didn't want to spend the money or take the time to have it checked. If I did, then I would be doing something for myself, instead of taking care of my kids. I feel guilty whenever I spend money on myself or do something just for me.

I know. My logic was a little screwed. If I don't take care of myself, who will? If I don't visit the doctor for regular checkups, something that is minor could turn into something serious. Then what? What happens to my kids?

I finally went to the doctor. At the appointment, four spots on the side of my nose were biopsied. The doctor is also having an appointment made for surgery to remove a basil cell carcinoma. The results of the biopsy results won't be back until next week.

Bottom line, I should have gone to the doctor when I first noticed the skin abnormality. I still feel bad about what this is going to cost my family. I am going to feel guilty when my husband has to take a day off of work to take care of the kids, while my father drives up and takes me to have the surgery. I know that I shouldn't it, but it is who I am. I am glad that this is being taken care of, and I pray that the biopsy results will be fine.

Given all of what I have just written, I urge all parents to take care of yourself. Take the time to visit your doctor for routine exams. Don't put it off due to time or money. In the end, you could be hurting your family a lot more if you don't take care for yourself.

Celebrate in Pink Giveaway Closed

I was given the opportunity to review and keep a pink ribbon paper tableware set from Celebrate in Pink. Celebrate in Pink is the only provider of pink ribbon paper tableware. One of the things that I like about this company is that it is a cause company. A portion of it’s profits supports those with breast cancer. I really like this tableware set. This set comes:

“Bundled together with pink tulle and finished with a flower. The set includes one package of dinner plates (10 per pack), one package of dessert plates (10 per pack), one package of luncheon napkins (20 per pack) and one package of beverage napkins (20 per package).”

Pink ribbon paper tableware is not their only product. Celebrate in Pink also pink ribbon stationery and gift sets. The gift set that I think I would most like to try is the It's Five O'Clock Somewhere

“Give the gift of paradise. Includes two packages of dessert plates (10 per pack), one package of beverage napkins (20 per pack), two packages of single serve cosmopolitian drink mixes, and one package of cosmopolitian rimming sugar. Packaged in a beautiful gift box, is it five o'clock yet?”

Kathy McEvoy, founder of Celebrate in Pink, has offered my readers a 10% discount when ordering on their site. You can use the discount code SAVEME10. If you order by March 15, orders over $25 get free shipping.

Kathy is also providing the same tableware bundle she sent me as a giveaway prize. You must be a US resident to enter. The giveaway starts January 17, 2010 and ends January 30, 2010. Each entry must be made in a separate comment. I use RandomGenerator.com to select my giveaway winners. Each comment is automatically assigned a number. Good Luck!

MAIN RULE – Visit Celebrate in Pink and pick out a product you think you would like to try. Come back here and leave a comment telling what it is. (remember if this rule is not followed then no others will count)

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